Connections
by HellieEllie
Summary: Loki/OC - Takes place during Thor & after Avengers. Making, breaking and rebuilding an emotional connection with the only person who can see through it all.
1. Breaking

_Loki/OC – Takes place during Thor and after Avengers. Definitely not canon. Enjoy and feel free to review!_

* * *

She woke with a start from what had been a troubled sleep. Something was terribly wrong, even more-so than it had been of late. Sigyn had tried to distance herself from him, but Loki's tortured emotions coursed through her from even miles away. With anyone else she'd have to be right next to them, making an effort to sense their emotions. But their bond had been forged unbreakable. He was like a light that couldn't be put out.

It was a happy accident at the time, one that drew them closer than they'd ever expected. Loki had imparted of himself to strengthen the gift of magic within Sigyn, and had given what felt like a part of his spirit to her in the process. In happier times, it was a precious gift. Their love was palpable, fiery hot at a time. Of all his gifts of secrecy, magic used to conceal, to trick, he was unable to hide even the simplest of feelings from her. It was as liberating as it was frustrating, having his soul unwillingly bared.

What once was passion had turned to ice and that night she felt his rage rising within her. His heart was set to death. Overwhelmed and gasping for breath she stumbled out of bed and pulled on a dress, scrambling out the door to get to him. She scurried down winding stairs out into the open streets of Asgard. It was beautiful, as it always was, with glimmering lights and golden sheen softly lighting the night air. Desperately she ran, barefoot across the path until the bridge was in plain view. Even at such a far distance it was a sight to behold. Light shot out from the Bifrost at an intense pace, and Sigyn could see in the distance as it began to tear itself apart.

"No!" she screamed, as she futilely ran toward the collapsing bridge. Pieces began to fly in all directions at a quickening pace, the bridge was destined to be lost. Tears streamed from her eyes as his anger turned to madness and fear.

"My lady, stop!" A man grabbed the hysterical woman and tried to pull her away from her path toward the destruction. She pushed him away frantically, screaming as he looked in her eyes. She did not recognize him, but felt his concern for her state.

"No! Let me go! Stop!"

The Bifrost had come undone. The noise and light from the explosion came toward them in waves. The man attempted to pull her close and cover her face, but she pulled away again. Sigyn felt her heart sinking as she knew that Loki must have been responsible. What had he done?

As suddenly as she'd awoken with gasps of terror, she felt his presence ripped apart from her center. Her face turned cold and silent as she dropped to her knees. He was gone. Loki's fear, anger and sadness had disappeared and was replaced with only her own, a dull ache in comparison. Exhaling deeply she hunched over, face in her hands, crying silently.

"My lady?" The man asked, aimlessly.

"Take me to him," she coughed out after a moment.

"To whom?"

"To the King."


	2. Celebration

_Days earlier._

The great hall was filled end to end with people and pageantry. It was to be Thor's coronation day, and no expense had be spared to lavish the momentous event. The onlookers and guardsmen were beginning to take their places as the couple stole a few moments away from the crowds, hidden away in a corridor behind the King's throne.

"You seem... pleased with yourself, love," she smiled, looking up at Loki, dressed in his finest for the occasion. Reaching up to brush a stray hair back into place, she trailed her fingertips down his face to the edge of the thick fabric of his green cloak.

"Don't be silly. I am merely proud of my older brother, as we all are," with a wink, he looked into Sigyn's dark eyes, took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "This is Thor's big day. I am only here to celebrate."

The fact that she knew he was lying to her did not help in knowing what exactly it was about. It usually wasn't anything to be concerned about, so she tried not to think much of it. Sigyn knew the bond of her empathic abilities was an unfair advantage in any relationship, and even more so with Loki.

"Well, I'll be looking forward to celebrations then," she quipped with a grin before sneaking a kiss onto his thin lips. "Find me after."

"Of course, my lady," he replied with an exaggerated bow and mischievous grin, before turning to walk away.

She watched him glide down the hall, cloak trailing behind before looking back to her direction. "You look beautiful today!" he called, not stopping to break his stride.

Smiling to herself, she looked down and brushed her hands across the long green gown she was wearing and pushed a long dark curl back over her shoulder. He never lacked in charm, this was for certain. It was his strength and her weakness for him.

A guard came toward her in the hallway as she began to rush out into the great hall to find her place.

"Lady Sigyn?" the guard looked back to her and asked.

"Yes?"

"Come with me, my lady. Queen Frigga has asked that I escort you to your seat."

"Oh yes, of course. Thank you," she replied nervously as she followed the guard.

Odin and Frigga had always been good to Sigyn, as they knew of her great love for their son. But she was intimidated by their stature among the Asgardians. Royalty was not something Sigyn desired or thought herself well suited to accompany. Loki had kept his status a secret from her when they'd first met many years ago. Being the king's less favored son was a burden that he'd many times told her that he would rather forget.

Cheers filled the hall as Thor triumphantly walked toward the Allfather to accept his crown. Sigyn stood near the front of the crowd, less than impressed with his over the top display. As he knelt to take his vows to the realm, she turned her eyes toward Loki, standing to the side of the stage. He had a stern look about him as he hardly cracked a smile. He too, seemed less than impressed with Thor. She knew that he loved his brother, but the two were very different men. She closed her eyes and quietly wished to rush the stage, grab Loki and run away right in the middle of the ceremony. Quite a sight that would be, she thought to herself, smiling, the sound in the background muddling together.

Until... "Frost Giants," Odin said abruptly, breaking his train of speech. A look of cold seriousness crossed his face, stirring the crowd.

Confused, Sigyn looked around the room as the onlookers began to softly panic. Odin and Thor rushed out of the great hall with a handful of guards and Loki trailing behind. She tried to push her way through the crowd as it began to disperse, but could not catch up to him in time. The fear and panic of the all of the people in the room was starting to overwhelm her, crushing in on her chest. Desperate to get away, she fled to the feasting hall, alone. The silence was welcome, but the worry was not.

A while later Loki had returned and found her, explaining that but a few frost giants had made their way into Asgard in an attempt to regain the Casket of Ancient Winters, an ancient relic of their kind. They sat quietly on the steps as he attempted to comfort her from the stress of taking on the empathic thoughts of so many people at once. She felt muddied inside and tired from the strain. Their quiet moment, however, was interrupted as Thor came crashing into the room, overturning the table in frustration. Sigyn glared at him, thinking that he was acting like an overgrown child.

"I'll take my leave now, love," she whispered to Loki, before kissing his cheek and turning to leave. She thought it better that he attempt to calm his brother without her interference. He was itching for war, she could feel it. "Don't let him do anything rash."


	3. Lies

"Lady Sif, what brings you here?" she asked, curious at the surprise visit. Welcoming the warrior into her home readily, she'd always admired Sif's bravery and unique status amongst the inner circle of Asgard's throne. But it was quite unusual for her to call upon Sigyn unannounced, obviously bearing some sort of important news.

"It's Loki. I need to speak to you about him," she answered, hoping that Sigyn would confirm her suspicions about Loki's treason.

"What is it? Where is he?" she asked abruptly, afraid at Sif's tone of voice and stifled anger.

Answering the questions, she continued with the news of Thor's exile. He'd led Loki, Sif and the warriors three into Jotunheim in a hasty attempt to learn more about the attack on Asgard, breaking what peace the realms had known. As a result, Odin had seen fit to strip Thor of his powers and exile him to Midgard.

"I...," she paused, "I... don't know what to say. I am so sorry." She knew of Sif's affection for Thor, and was saddened to hear of such a turn of events. She wondered how Loki could have gotten so easily dragged into such a clearly ridiculous and dangerous act.

While in Jotunheim, Laufey had said something about traitors in the house of Odin and Sif was convinced it was all Loki's doing.

"Do you trust him, Sigyn?" Sif scoffed. A peculiar question it was, if not a biting one as well.

"What are you trying to say?" she responded, shocked at the direction of the conversation.

"The Frost Giants came into Asgard undetected. How did they get here? What hid them?," she interrogated.

"How would I know these things? What are you asking of me?" she questioned, shocked and hurt at the accusations being hurled so casually in her direction. Sif would have no reason to not trust Sigyn. To think so would be absurd.

"You are the closest person to him. The two of you are most skilled in the art of magic. Did you think we would not know?" Sif spat, convinced of Loki's deception.

"I think it is time for you to leave, Sif," she replied coldly, "Get out."

Hurt at the troubling news and horrible accusations from Sif, she pushed the woman out of her home and closed the door behind her. Flushed, she fell against the door, overwhelmed by the news and the turn of events with Sif. Sigyn had her own concerns about Loki, but a traitor to his own brother was not something she'd ever suspected. And to have Sif accuse her as well only made it worse. It couldn't be true, she thought to herself. It couldn't be.


	4. Queen

A guard led her through the expansive golden hallways of the Asgardian throne room. Loki had sent for her the next day, with word that he had important news to share. Their footsteps echoed in the empty hall as she began to make out the figure upon the throne. Her movement slowed as she saw him, stopping well before the foot of the throne. The guard motioned for her to move forward before taking his leave. Shocked and stopped in her tracks, she thought this must be some sort of game, a trick.

"Loki... what..." her broken voice trailed off in the echoey chamber.

He smiled a warm, knowing smile and stood, moving down the steps toward her, golden scepter in hand with green cloak trailing behind.

"Come," he stretched out an arm toward her, "we need to speak in private."

The guards took notice and moved away as the pair went toward the king's chambers off the path of the throne room. She took his arm, confused by the man whom she thought she knew so well. Closing the door behind them he removed the elaborate helm, and laid the scepter aside. He began to look more like himself, she thought.

"What is this Loki?" Sigyn asked, concerned.

"I wanted to tell you as soon as I could, love. I did." he replied emphatically, "It just all happened so quickly. I wasn't expecting any of this."

He continued to tell her of how Odin had fallen into the great sleep and that with Thor in exile, this left the throne of Asgard to him. Lingering feelings of anger and betrayal wafted off of him, despite his composed disposition. Smiling he pulled Sigyn close and stroked her hair. That charming smile, it weakened her defenses and she collapsed in to hold him, cold metal of his armor against her face.

"I don't know what to think, Loki," she pulled away and looked in his cold blue eyes, sheepishly. "Am I to be happy for you? I do not believe that I can be."

"I didn't want this Sigyn. I did not," he said, with a raised voice, convinced that it was not a lie.

"Why did you not come to me earlier? What are you not telling me? Do not pretend that I cannot feel it," she spoke of the gaping distance between them that had gone unacknowledged for too long.

"Who are you?" It fell out of her mouth before she even realized what she'd said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, that was out of line. I shouldn't have. I don't even know what I mean," she stumbled over her words as she watched his expression drop.

"Sit with me," he said softly, leading her to a seat. He took his place across from her and held one of her hands in his. Turning it over, he placed a single finger in her palm. A cold sensation washed across her hand as a small ball of ice formed, and his hand began to turn a deep blue color. Confused, she looked at him as if this was just some sort of trick. Pulling away abruptly, the ice dropped to the ground and shattered. She rubbed her now cold hand against her skirt to warm it.

"What is this Loki? What is it supposed to mean? Ice?" she asked with increasing desperation.

He looked in her eyes with a deep sadness tempered by resentment. His delicate face washed with worry and a furrowed brow.

"I love you Sigyn."

Frustrated and confused, she looked at him longingly. "Yes, as I you. Now will you stop playing games with me, please?"

"I am not who I thought I was. My life has been a lie told to me repeatedly. But it doesn't matter, love. I am king now. Asgard needs me, as I need you," he replied resolutely. He needn't say more. She understood what he'd meant. He was not originally of Asgard, but of Jotunheim. The blue skin of the ice giants lay beneath the surface, hidden beneath his Asgardian form.

"The Allfather has lied to you?" she asked, feeling his heartbreak.

"Yes. But it matters not. This is not why I wanted you here," he answered, closing the gap between them and forcing a smile. "Sigyn, I wish for you to be my queen. Marry me and we shall rule Asgard as one."

The words caught in her throat, as tears began to form in her eyes. She could not force them back, as hard as she might try. He watched as she pulled away from him, confused and afraid.

"I...," she managed to choke out but the single word.

"Yes, love. You what?"

"I love you Loki," she paused, "but I cannot. I cannot be queen. This is madness. I do not want this."

She felt the biting pain as his heart broke further than it had already, wondering if she had the strength to endure this. Knowing that Sif's suspicions must have been true.

"What?" his lip trembled in anger as a tear rolled down his cheek. "Why?"

She'd never felt afraid of him before, but in this moment she was unsure of what hid beneath the surface that even she had not scratched. It was all too much to bear so quickly. She'd spoken hastily. It wasn't what she'd wanted, to hurt him.

"I'm sorry, love" she begged, moving close to kiss his cheek, "I just need some time. That is all. You'll understand, won't you?"

His jaw stiffened as he quickly turned away from her affections. "Yes," he gritted through his teeth and walked out the door without looking back. Heartbroken, she began to sob into her hands as a guard came to escort her away. She would not see the same man that she had loved again.


	5. Aftermath

The days and months passed after the Bifrost had been destroyed. Thor himself told her the story of the battle with his brother, of the lies and of his plans to destroy Jotunheim. Unlike his brother, Thor was incapable of dishonesty, no matter how painful the truth may have been to her. He'd let go. Loki had resigned himself to the abyss. The bridge was broken and no one knew where he may have gone. She'd visited the gatekeeper many times to ask for any signs, but he had his own reasons for not wanting to help her. Loki had abused his position and betrayed Heimdall deeply.

It took some time before she could begin to accept his passing and mourn the loss. She took to wearing only black and became more reclusive over time. Frigga had tried to keep her close to the family, as she loved Sigyn and did not want to see her in pain. She could not help but blame herself, for her part in his undoing. Maybe if she'd accepted the proposal he would have been honest with her. Maybe she could have convinced him of a better path. Thor had assured her though, that it was not her fault. Loki had chosen his own path, and they could do nothing but love him and hope that he would do what was right.

Falling into her own personal darkness, Sigyn poured herself fully into the study of magic. She secretly pushed herself further and further in an attempt to strengthen her powers. Thinking that if she was able to unlock a deeper magic within herself, maybe she could reform the bond with Loki and feel him wherever he may be. She so desperately wanted to know if he was still alive, she would have given anything.

She got her wish, though not in the manner she had hoped. A secret power had been discovered to open the pathways amongst the realms again. Thor had fled to Midgard, in search of Loki who had been discovered there. She was overjoyed to hear that he was still alive, but the news of his return was not a welcome one. He'd set to earth in an attempt to gain control of the realm, taking it for his kingdom. Assistance from darker forces had given him new found power. A power-hungry conqueror was not the man she'd loved. How had he fallen so far?

His return to Asgard was bound in chains, Thor's prisoner for crimes unspeakable. He'd been locked in the most secure prison in Asgard, guarded day and night, with powerful magic keeping him locked away, unable to hurt anyone else. Sigyn went to Thor in desperation, she must Loki again.

"No," he replied sternly, "it is not possible. This is not the man you know, Sigyn."

They stood outside the gates of his holding cell, flanked by rows of guards. The door was large and golden, the room lined in layers of metal and magic barriers, suppressing his abilities. A small window in the door allowed for guards to look in, though Loki could not see out. Thor held her arm, not letting her get close enough to see inside.

"You must let me see him!" she demanded.

"Sigyn, I cannot. He is dangerous, even to you," he pleaded, eyes caring and true. He did not want to see her hurt by the man she loved. The things Loki had done while on Midgard were deplorable, the loss of life substantial. Thor had let his guard down for but a moment and Loki had taken the opportunity to stab him in the stomach, making yet another attempt on his brother's life. He could not be trusted. He could not be reasoned with or compelled with emotion. Thor worried that his brother was beyond all hope, but Odin had not yet decided on what his final punishment would be. The family that had loved him did not want to see him destroyed forever.

She grasped his hand that held her arm, attempting to force him to let go. He would not hurt her, but he would not let her go either.

"Please," she begged, tears beginning to stream down her face. "I love him still, Thor. You must let me go."

Thor's grip softened as did his heart. He did not want to see her in pain. Releasing her arm, he stood for a moment as she looked up at him, long dark hair trailing into her eyes. Her expression went cold for a moment.

"You know that I ask you this as a courtesy," she said bluntly to Thor, who was unaware of how powerful she'd become. "You can not keep me from him."

Surprised at her turn of phrase, he looked at Sigyn blankly for a moment. Her eyes never left his as she quietly waved a hand in front of him and in a flash of faint light, disappeared from view. Reappearing again on the inside of Loki's cell in a bright flash, she stood before him as he sat on the ground, bound in chains, mouth covered. Guards rushed toward the door but Thor stopped them from opening it. He looked inside to see Sigyn's form standing above that of his brother. Commanding the guards to hold, he waited to see what would transpire.

He looked like a faint memory of himself. Older, a battered and broken version of himself, face sullen, scars beginning to form across his face. She thought that he looked so unwell, unlike the beautiful man she'd loved. His eyes widened as he saw the woman appear before him, long black gown and dark hair trailing down her back. She stepped toward him slowly.

"Loki," she whispered softly, "my love."

He stared at her unmoving as she knelt before him. She couldn't tell if it was joy or fear in his eyes, if he was even capable of joy anymore. Reaching out to him, she gently swept hair out of his eyes and traced fingertips lovingly along his face. A slam at the door startled her and she turned back swiftly, the guards must be trying to get in. Waving a hand she cast a spell to bar the door from the inside, covering it with ice, obstructing the view in the window. The guards knew better than to bring down the door or the defenses of the room. Loki was too dangerous and if given the opportunity, may attempt to escape.

She turned back to him quickly, fumbling with the metal plate covering his mouth, trying to free him from it.

"Loki," she paused, slowly lowering it from his mouth, " what have you done?"

With the back of his hand, he wiped at his mouth. It had been so uncomfortable being bound. He coughed and spat on the ground next to himself, such an unbecoming act. She'd never seen him so utterly unkempt and clearly unhinged. After a moment, a familiar smile carved itself across his face.

"You've been practicing, haven't you?" he asked. She'd always been shy about using magic in the past, uncomfortable with it's power. It pleased him to see her embrace it now.

"Why can't I sense you? I didn't even know you'd returned until I was told. I was waiting for you this whole time, my love," she plead with him, choking back tears. He was an empty canvas, unfamiliar and distant. She could feel nothing from him, no emotions a tall. He was mysterious, unpredictable.

Wiping at his mouth again, he averted his eyes. She tried harder to read his emotions and still got nothing.

"Loki," she asked again, "What have you done?"

He paused for a moment, finally meeting her eyes. "You want to know what I've done? I have done nothing but claim my rightful place," he growled.

"Your rightful place was here, Loki... with me."

"You want to know what I've done?" he growled at her again, taking her hand and placing it on his forehead. Letting down the guard he'd so carefully built, a forceful wave of emotions flowed out from his memories. She felt the anger, terror, desperation and loneliness that drove him to the edge of madness. She felt the hate that allowed him to step over it. With a gasp she pushed him away and fell backwards, attempting to get away from him. The darkness had overshadowed the man she loved so completely. Swallowing her fear, she edged back toward him, looking deeply into his eyes, blue and cold as ice. He stared at her, a desperate man, lost and alone.

Another bang rang out from the door, as the guards tried to get past the ice. Picking herself up off the ground, she moved toward him slowly. Bending down, she kissed him on the forehead, as he lifted a hand to touch her face. He stared at her a moment, lost in memories of better days, the faint hint of remembering what it meant to love her. What it meant to feel safe and at home.

"I must go," she whispered with a faint forced smile, as she pulled herself away. "I will see you again."

With a quick motion of her hand, she disappeared as quickly from the cell as she'd appeared. The glimmer of her light in so much darkness. As she appeared outside of the cell, Thor rushed to her as the guards backed away from the door.

"Are you hurt?" Thor asked, afraid of what may have happened inside. She shook her head as he continued to scold "You should not have done that. You have no idea how dangerous..."

"Yes," she interrupted, placing a hand on Thor's chest. "Yes. I know. I am fine. I will take my leave now." She solemnly walked away, black skirt hem flowing at her feet. A hint of warmth filled her heart as she felt the presence of her love again, this time with but a glimmer of hope mixed in with all of his despair.

_To be continued, maybe. Thanks for reading! Please feel free to review._


End file.
